The "Reality" of Teaching

There happens to be a lot of downtime in the closing hours of my workday. The classes have been taught, the children shuffle away to their dark little corners to torture small animals or go off to continue learning at some form of after-school program. But it's only 2pm and my "day" ends at 4:30pm...what to do? I may be in Korea, far, far away from my home in California--but best believe I still get my TV fix thanks to the various joyfully illegal Internet sites offering up today's best and worst (aka BEST) shows the networks and cable channels have to offer. Shows I have been following recently are: Glee, Hung, Gossip Girl, Project Runway, Models of the Runway, America's Next Top Model, and Top Chef. Admittedly, my guilty favorites tend to be the terrible reality shows that relentlessly attempt to spice things up with every passing season (or "cycle"), but are usually just the same ridiculous fare...that I happen to drool over at my desk. Today in particular I feasted on the likes of Top Chef season 6, and America's Next Top Model cycle 13. Top Chef never ceases to make me hungry, but more importantly I wholeheartedly believe it makes me a better cook. I don't necessarily learn any technique from it, as anyone who watches knows they don't focus on that. What it does is inspire me to try new things and mix and match flavors that maybe I wouldn't have had the moxie to toss together to begin with. It's also my kind of sports show; almost like watching skilled athletes flexing their muscles. Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that it's a show about food. Did you see my blog title? I was sort of bummed this week to see my delicious French morsel, Mattin, get the boot. He deserved it, no doubt, but I will miss his playful smirk and gorgeous teeth. Sigh. Au Revoir, hermosura de mi vida.

Speaking of beautiful people, ANTM cycle 13 is full of them in a whole new pint-sized package. Not one single model is over 5'7 this time around. I suppose it was imperative that Tyra force us to become interested again. We all know that the show never produces any super models, though it does produce working models (who can be caught from time to time on the runways, from New York to Boise). It's not the show itself, however, that I'd like to speak about. If anyone else caught last nights show, you may have noticed Tyra acting...well, crazy. Tyra? Crazy? How? Yes, Tyra has managed to out-crazy even herself. For some reason that will forever evade me, Tyra chooses to make a fool of herself on as many episodes as possible with every cycle that passes. I'm convinced she is done trying to trump Oprah and has moved onto trumping herself. On this fine episode, she appears as a sheepish, meek woman partaking in a photo shoot with a Napoleonic photographer. When she can't takes no mo', she strips down to reveal a cape and becomes (wait for it...wait for it...)...SUPER SMIZE!!! Yes! She can crush the runway with a single stomp, and phase away her opponent's with a single smize! Just in case you're unsure, to "smize" is to smile with ones eyes. Oh Tyra. Tyra, Tyra, Tyra. I'd love to join your writing team. I too can be a yes man! My first contribution: Tyra Banks is NARCISILLA! She needs to shut it down. Shut it down!

"Why ain't you smizin', gurr?"