Big. Luscious. Golden Globes.

Managed to find a live stream of the 67th annual Golden Globe Awards nominations announcement. John Krasinski was lame. Dianne Kruger was adorable. Justin Timberlake continues to become re-whitified (thanks SNL for making him realize he is not in fact a black man). All of that aside, the list looks pretty good. I will have more to say about this tomorrow, as I dissect the list of nominees and form my game plan for covering all of this cinematic territory. But for now...to bed.

PS I tripped up the stairs at work and broke my big toenail off. It feels like bees are continually stinging me...with hot knives. Gotta love pain killers.

Here's the list.

Not Waiting for the Man (but I sorta miss the feeling)

It's probably because it's cold and dark outside. Maybe it's because times are slow. Nowhere to go. I wouldn't go back there. Even if invited. But I can't lie and say my interests aren't ignited, when I hear these tunes. Make me feel there again. Sitting. Listening. Sliding in...down. Curling up. Then fall asleep.

Joy Division - Ceremony Slowdive - Blue Skied an' Clear Ride - Nowhere My Bloody Valentine - To Here Knows When The Velvet Underground - After Hours Air - Run Sigur Ros - Andvari Slowdive - Goldenhair (Syd Barett cover) The Velvet Underground - Heroin The Velvet Underground - I'm Waiting for the Man

Ode to My Escape

What I’d give, what I’d give To soar once more, on my back, on the floor What I’d do, what I’d do To touch, but not such Who I’d choke, who I’d choke Honey, this ain’t no joke I’m starving for a slap in the face A lazy hand, the whip of the wind And smoke…give me smoke.

Where it be, where is he? So frail…my betrayal. Twenty bucks, twenty fucks He left me waiting, always hesitating. Get some more, little whore That’s really all I want you for Think I’ll beg? I won’t beg But the smell, my hunger Ketchup and dull drying-paint swoon me.

Here I cower, growing sour Illegalities, impracticalities If I could, oh, I would Even though I tell myself ‘no’ It hurts, it hurts The pains, in spurts, From head to feet—bone to meat I miss you…foil and black gum.

My lungs expand for you At your command, they do It’s music that sends me now And teeth bleed dry And hair runs thin And skin grows lines And heart skips on Painfully, sinfully wanton.

Here He Comes Again

Gravitate towards me luxuriant smoke Down my passage of civility Incredulous speech invites you Welcome unwelcome guest

Sear my lining, drown my brain Make me never feel again Numb hairs stand on end You are my dearest friend

Strewn across a couch or bed The floor could never please me more Itching in ways one shouldn't scratch Like the pocks leaving scars when nails become arduous

Cough red smoke, vessels in the air You’ve come undone, inside out Stomach pains, my supple veins A pierce is just too much

So for now, inhaling is how I swallow him Here he comes again In me…in me… And for you, I acquiesce.

I Miss the 90's (The Early 90's)

It sounds odd. I know. Who could miss dingy flannel, step-cuts, and British Knights? Me. Sorta. I miss the things that comforted me as a young person. Doc martens, beaten to hell after having my parents wait in line for hours to pay over $100 for a pair. Pre-Emo teen angst. Rock with a purpose. Pop with a heart. Icon's like Madonna, Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, My Bloody Valentine. Shit, even Salt-n-Pepa. Spinderella cut it up one time. Looking back at middle school, high school, my early adulthood...there was bliss. There were hardships. Times we as young, hormonal people can't see the end of (like climbing a dome, revolution after revolution, with no end...). I find the world so changed. We are days away from 2010 and I miss the 90's more than ever. There was a darkness about that time. An enveloping darkness that at once caused fear in my heart and resulted in a sense of home. These days people are obsessed with fame. Popular culture has evolved away from the Andy Warhol "everyday but overlooked" and become the golden ring that all dream of attaining. Everyone wants to be known. Everyone seeks fame. Celebrity is available to anyone. Has post-modernism killed "special"? Is the internet the culprit? Remember when MTV still showed music videos? Remember when TRL killed it? It all happened in the 90's. Here are two songs (and a TV show trailer) that came to mind today. No reason. No grand purpose. Just because...they remind me.

REM - Everybody Hurts: This video defined my early teen years. Dealing with obesity, depression, and fear of being outed this song gave me peace. Bjork - Possibly Maybe: This takes me back to my sophomore year. Bjork was and always will be a goddess in my eyes. She will be imitated (Imogen Heap, Lady Gaga) but never duplicated. My So-Called Life: If you are a child of the 90's and didn't have an emotional connection to this show (and didn't cry and want to boycott ABC for canceling it after one season), then we will probably never understand each other.

Go Animate Your Lesson Plan

My 6th graders had better appreciate this... GoAnimate.com: Bad Birthday by odlugo

Like it? Create your own at GoAnimate.com. It's free and fun!

Charlie bit me...

...and that really hurt.

I have Big Love for this show.

My best friend and ex-roommate Tina and I began watching HBO's Big Love together back when it first began. We were instantly addicted. I'm all for polyamorous unions and the story's approach never took itself too seriously. The acting talent is everything one could ask for--I mean, Chloe Sevigny in prairie outfits? Genius. I was fortunate enough to attend a screening of the film 'Nine Lives,' from director Rodrigo Garcia (son of famed writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez) my senior year of film school at CSUN. He is an eloquent man, his feet rooted deep in the ground...a man who deeply understands women. In fact, most of his work revolves around female storylines. Anyway, he went on to tell us about writing and directing the pilot for Big Love. I'd never payed attention to the credits, so I was pleasantly surprised. Gave me more reason to adore his work. It's because he understands women so well that Big Love works. Not only are the plot points completely involving in an infamously exclusive world, but the characters are so real sometimes it seems you actually know them.

Dong Wook and I finally got all caught up and finished season 3 last night without even knowing it was the final episode. Thank God it'll be back January 10th. After Avatar premieres, Big Love is next on my horizon.

These things do happen.

Last week, a 19 year old Puerto Rican boy who was gay was decapitated, dismembered, and burned. It's still unclear why exactly these atrocities were carried out, but we do know the chief investigator said, "He asked for it." Do you think his mother accepts that reasoning? Please pass this on so that more people can understand what hate creates...and destroys.

What if I don't wanna?

It's time to make a buck and spend that buck on things that matter. Things that last. Homes. Babies. Furniture that pleases our aesthetic. My family would be pleased. I'd be there. I'd be close. I'd be accessible.

It's time to go back to school. It's time to learn again. Exercise my brain. Get the blood flowing north again instead of further south. Crack the spine of those books. Progress. Prepare. Get that Masters. It's passed due.

It's time to get married. Time to pay for a joint living. Time for health insurance. Time for a car you share. One car. Time to become what everyone is supposed to become.

It's time to face the facts. It's time to wise up. Act now before it's too late. Look at what your friends have accomplished. Did you see your cousins new house? Did you hear who had a baby?

What if I don't wanna?

In my (our) near future we have choices. One major one, in fact. What happens after Korea? Where do we go? What do we do? How do we do it? I'm ready to go at any moment. Let's go now!

Here are some possibilities for our future: a) Move somewhere and go to school, together b) Move to the US or Canada and attempt to work c) Stay in Korea d) Save up and travel the world before having to worry about a & b, because we all know c is an impossibility.

What to do, what to do?

Where to go? Here. This is my inspiration...

Because when it gets cold we cook.

Latinos love to cook. All day everyday. The only thing we enjoy more than cooking is eating, or forcing other people to eat with us. Most of my favorite Mexican dishes are cooked in the winter time, when the temperature drops and no one wants to go outside--they just want to sit, eat, and chat. My best memories as a chunky little mejicanito were dipping Pan con Azucar y Canela into a warm mug of either Chocolate Mexicana (made with Chocolate Ibarra, of course) or Atole / Champurrado. There's something about the cold weather (as if it got that cold in Southern California) that, for me, has always equated with sweets--sweet breads, sweet drinks, sweet men, etc. I was too young to care much for the conversation of my elders but as long as they kept that delicious, crispy toast coming, and those mugs of thick, chocolaty liquid flowing they could talk all night as far as I was concerned. There was always room in my belly for the savory as well. My family never celebrated Christmas. In my youth while the children around me (my cousins and classmates) received presents to last them until their birthday's, the only thing I had to look forward to were Tamales. Didn't matter if they were filled with beef, chicken or pork. I'd gobble them up spicy or not. One after another, corn husks everywhere. Damn. What I'd give for one (five) now.

Korea as of late is very cold. I could say freezing but that would be an exaggeration. But to my Californian standards yes...my balls have icicles on them. These foods, the idea of these foods, are what keep me warm now--from inside out. Not having them here, readily available to me, is probably more difficult than not having my family. See my mentality? That's a true fatty, through and through. I'll have to make due and get creative. Making these delicacies from scratch could be very well impossible, depending what I can sniff out at the various import stores available here--but I just may attempt it.

There are two delicious treats I will partake in because they are easily made and result in a huge payoff. The first is not even a Mexican dish, it's a Cuban dish called Papas Rellenas (stuffed potato balls). My friends and I would make pilgrimages to a bakery in Burbank, California called Porto's Bakery where they specialize in Cuban sandwiches, desserts, as well as various Cuban appetizers and other popular international desserts. It's by far one of the best places I have ever eaten. Crazy-delicious. Anyway, I am missing these balls and plan on making a batch. Fried mashed potatoes filled with spicy meat? Hello! Can't wait. Along with this I'll pair a very popular Mexican alcoholic drink called Rompope. Plainly put, it's Mexican eggnog that nuns used to whip up in their boredom. Thank God for boredom. The bottle, most popular with a nun from the Santa Clara convent as mascot, reminds me of my grandmother. I recall her reaching for it, atop a shelf, too high for most to reach. She would stand on a chair, still barely reaching. She would pour some for the adults and only a small portion for the children, to taste. That flavor, that aroma, will always be with me. Egg. Cinnamon. Vanilla. Sugar. Rum or brandy. The reason she had it up so high was because it was so good my siblings, and cousins and I would guzzle it down like that yummy orange-flavored Triaminic (remember that? First addiction!). Drunkenness at eight-years-old. That's another thing Latinos love.

The winter is cold but I'm warmer now with my memories; of bread crumbs on my childhood belly, the women of my family gathered together wrapping cornmeal into husks, and my grandma drunkenly trying to place the bottle of rompope neatly back on the shelf.

(Recipe for Rompope here)

Chuseok came and went...like most men in my life.

Chuseok, the holiday foreign workers love to exploit for its vacation, has come and gone. I was busy helping put my friend Denise as she embarked on a photographic extravaganza. We spent four consecutive days primping beautiful ladies (and a handful of hot gents) from all corners of Korea in an act of momentary-model-mania!!! It was a lot of fun, great money--but man was it a lot of work. I am talking 10 to 12 hour days including my commute. Add into this wonderful mix that fact that Autumn has taken hold and the cool breeze is becoming a cold wind resulted in my annoyingly ill-timed tonsillitis. But it's okay. The week here at work was a breeze. And now it's over and I have the weekend to relax, right? Wrong. The Pusan International Film Festival has finally arrived! All the planning has finally come into fruition and in about 3 hrs I'll be boarding my train down south to experience some great cinema, a party or two, a shopping visit in the largest department store in the world, and a dip at the ever lauded SpaLand. More on all this throughout the weekend if I can, but most likely not until Monday. Until then, here are some pics of the models last weekend. Pictures will be uploaded to the site over time. The Foto Republic is a photography organization founded by photographer Denise Lejcar. Photography courtesy of Denise Lejcar, Makeup by J, and Hair & Styling by Moi

Rememba, rememba, rememba...when FAME had an abortion scene?

Just a quick one tonight to say the remake of Fame was actually worse than I expected--and believe me, my expectations were lower than what I'd have for a Korean cake. I actually have no idea what the movie was about, even though I know the original by heart. I am still very, very puzzled. What was that movie about? Nothing happened. Occasionally people sang, or danced, or acted...badly. But what was the story? School years passed like a VD during Spring Break, and I have no idea what any of the characters were named. Did I even watch the movie? Did I imagine it? Maybe I fell asleep and was completely unaware. Fame has proven to be an existential nightmare. Save your money, hard drive space, etc... Let's just pretend this never happened.

GLEE has replaced Gossip Girl in my TV-heart

With Gossip Girl's poor performance at the inception of its third season, my TV-heart felt empty and that void required filling--but not by anything as trite as models that will never walk real shows or designers that will never move out of their parents basements. Then came Glee. You might recall I ripped this show a new one just last week because of its ridiculous treatment of minorities and "REAL 2-D" characters. But I think someone out there heard my prayers (yes, I know these episodes have already been produced, but let me feel like I made a difference) and scrapped all the bad and dragged in a whole lot of good. Thank you, to whomever made it possible, for making the characters real living, breathing human beings with real problems. This is drama. And true comedy stems from drama. From this day forth, I am a full Glee supporter!

Paranormal Activity: One of the scariest movies ever made?

I'd never heard anything about the film Paranormal Activity before hearing about it while flipping through the Pusan International Film Festival's catalogue, but maybe that's because I've neglected to keep updated with Latino Review for the past week. Apparently some people have seen it...and they were terrified. Even Steven Spielberg claims the DVD screener momentarily haunted his screening room. Man, I hope my apartment gets haunted too. It's not fair!

Anyway, here's a link to the Latino Review article. Can't wait to possibly cry like I did watching The Exorcist, The Blair Witch Project, and Rent the movie (because it sucked dirty homeless dick). Click here for the trailer.

What we can do together.

Dong Wook recently completed his first draft illustrations for a story I wrote some three or four years ago. The story is called Daredevil, and is written in a children's book style. It deals more with adult issues, such as regret and death, but it reads in rhyme like Dr. Seuss. Anyway, here's a glance. We'll be submitting it for possible publication once we're happy with it. Feedback would be much appreciated.

Super Junior Saves the World!!!

I've never been a fan of Super Junior, but I'll admit a sauna gang bang with the lot of them would be like babies first Christmas. Nonetheless, here are the boys being rambunctious and smarmy, trying to save the world through energy conservation and song...oh, and the implication of gay lovin.

Hong Kong Disneyland looks super boring

After careful consideration, and consulting our current finances and saving plan, we've decided that our winter vacation trip will be to (drum-roll please)...Hong Kong. Didn't already guess that from the title? Anyway, so far we've got our tickets booked and we're in the process of scoping out hotels and possible apartments to rent for our week abroad. We'll be there for their famed New Year's eve celebrations, which is super exciting, but sadly we've voted against Hong Kong Disneyland. I bleed Disney blood, but it just looks like no bang for your buck. Even the boring as a night with a republican Tokyo Disneyland looks like a night in Tommy Lee's underoo's. More to come as we lay down our plans.

PIFF: The Verdict

Last night my boo and I enjoyed dinner with our friend Amy to discuss which films we planned on watching at the film festival. We tried to work it out so that we could meet for meals and share our film-viewing experiences, since our core lists were quite different. This morning was truly a rude awakening. Tickets went on sale at 9am. Dong Wook sat ready to go at some PC room, while I sat in my office trying to work...on biting my nails off from the anticipation. 9:30 passed and still no call, so I went ahead and phoned DW. No answer. I figured he was paying for the tickets or something. Then Amy Skype'd me with the bad news: she only managed 3 of her 8 films. Immediately I felt all was lost. We were going to end up seeing 'The Proposal' or insert cheesy movie title. That's when my phone began to jiggle. It was DW. We'd managed 3 out of 5 films, but he did think quickly and immediately purchased 1 of our back-up film choices. The kick in the cooter was that we didn't manage tickets to two of the films we looked forward to the most: Trick'r Treat and Air Doll. Doesn't matter. In the end, we'll be (hopefully) enjoying the celluloid-excellence of the following films:

1. City of Life and Death (Nanjing! Nanjing!)
2. Balibo
3. Paranormal Activity
4. Anita

I hadn't mentioned Balibo in my previous post, so here's the trailer. I hope they spread the Aussie on thick...like Kath & Kim but with Indonesians and guns.

PIFF: My Dream Screening Schedule

The Pusan International Film Festival is supposedly the most influential film festival in all of Asia. I've been once before and it was quite a time. It's odd how the very Korean town of Busan, which meets the sea at the south of the peninsula, seems very much European whenever the film festival rolls around. The beach is lit up, the glitterati are abundant, and the endless train of banners and movie posters lining the boardwalk give it a very Cannes feel. That's why this year Dong Wook and I will take the midnight train to Busan to give 'Korean Cannes' another whirl. Upon first glance of this year's program, let's just say I wasn't exactly sleeping in line for tickets. The line-up seemed "fine"...and as anyone in the industry knows, "fine" is not the most welcoming word. After a few days of really giving the endless lists of synopses their due, it was to my surprise that there were some real gems in there that my judgmental eyes failed to notice. With that, I now present to you (all three of you) my hopeful list of films to view, granted I can snag some tickets (complete with trailers!):

Friday, October 9th

Trick'r Treat - Produced by Bryan Singer and directed by Michael Dougherty, this darkly comedic horror film follows four stories on Halloween night: a high school principal who moonlights as a vicious serial killer, a young virgin whose quest for that someone special takes a gruesome turn, a group of teens who carry out a cruel prank with disastrous consequences, and a cantankerous old man who battles a mischievous trick-or-treating demon. I hope this is as crazy as it looks. Not usually a horror fan, but this looks like the perfect midnight movie...which is the hour it is playing. Starring Anna Paquin.

Saturday, October 10th

City of Life and Death - A film depicting the invasion, destruction, and massacre of Nanking by

Japan. The death-toll has never been confirmed, though it is believed that upwards of 300,000

people may have been massacred there. This film, judging only by its trailer, captures the

essence of the time, the horror of the atrocities, and the black and white film stock sends chills

down my spine. This is the one film this year that I am (forgive my phrasing) dying to see.

Air Doll - A Japanese film, directed by Kore-Eda Hirokazu, about a blow-up sex doll that comes

to life much to her owners surprise. She must learn to understand what having a soul is. Looks

quirky, cute, and could either be ridiculously bad, or heart-warmingly good.

Mai Mai Miracle - I know little about this film except that it's of a young girl with a funny curl

on her forehead who daydreams about the past. For now, it's this and the beautiful animation

that has convinced me to see it.

Sunday, October 11th

Paranormal Activity - This trailer speaks for itself. Oh mama, I wish this were playing late at

night!

Now, the next two films I have to choose between. They are in two completely different areas

of the city, yet they both interest me intensely. I know one will be more accessible to my in the

future, but which would I enjoy best as a closing film to my Pusan experience? Can you help me

decide? I'm hung up.

Mary & Max - This is the story of two very different pen-pals living in two completely different

worlds. It seems so incredibly charming, and I live and breath for animation...so it's difficult for

me to even consider passing this up (and the voice of Toni Collette, Eric Bana, and Philip

Seymour Hoffman?).

Anita - This is the only Spanish-language film on my list (slim pickin's) but man does it look like

a good one. The film focuses on the character of Anita, a young woman with Down syndrome,

who enjoys a life of happy routine. After a bomb explodes outside her shop, she wanders and

becomes lost, losing her routine and herself in the process? Will she be forever lost? This film

looks incredible in every way possible. The cinematography is gorgeous, the acting already

looks superb, and something tells me the story is a gem waiting to be discovered. To see or not

to see...that is the question.

So that's it. My list. I am now officially excited about this.

Miss Li: Oh Boy! Where have you been all my life?

While scouring through Youtube for film trailers, I came across this little ditty. Miss Li is a singer/songwriter from Sweden whose songs have appeared on shows such as Weeds, and the ever annoying Grey's Anatomy. I hope ABC and Apple don't rape her music and cause her to become the next Moby or Sarah Bareilles. As for now, me likey oh so much.

RODARTE: Queens of Thrash

Kate and Laura Mulleavy are young, brilliant, and are not afraid to portray their twisted view of our future yet to come. Their future is not full of colorless smocks, tin-wear, or neon. These queens of thrash see chaos and beauty colliding in our future to create something wild and vibrant--clothing that not only covers us...but defines us. Call it tribal-chic, pretty-messy, or an inspired attack at the fabric store--ultimately we have one thing...a masterpiece.

Ready to 'SMIZE'?

If you haven't already read about it, Tyra went off the Banks-Crazy chart the other day on ANTM. This video really does speak for itself.

Tiny Tim would be proud...and possibly turned on.

This girl melted my heart.

The "Reality" of Teaching

There happens to be a lot of downtime in the closing hours of my workday. The classes have been taught, the children shuffle away to their dark little corners to torture small animals or go off to continue learning at some form of after-school program. But it's only 2pm and my "day" ends at 4:30pm...what to do? I may be in Korea, far, far away from my home in California--but best believe I still get my TV fix thanks to the various joyfully illegal Internet sites offering up today's best and worst (aka BEST) shows the networks and cable channels have to offer. Shows I have been following recently are: Glee, Hung, Gossip Girl, Project Runway, Models of the Runway, America's Next Top Model, and Top Chef. Admittedly, my guilty favorites tend to be the terrible reality shows that relentlessly attempt to spice things up with every passing season (or "cycle"), but are usually just the same ridiculous fare...that I happen to drool over at my desk. Today in particular I feasted on the likes of Top Chef season 6, and America's Next Top Model cycle 13. Top Chef never ceases to make me hungry, but more importantly I wholeheartedly believe it makes me a better cook. I don't necessarily learn any technique from it, as anyone who watches knows they don't focus on that. What it does is inspire me to try new things and mix and match flavors that maybe I wouldn't have had the moxie to toss together to begin with. It's also my kind of sports show; almost like watching skilled athletes flexing their muscles. Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that it's a show about food. Did you see my blog title? I was sort of bummed this week to see my delicious French morsel, Mattin, get the boot. He deserved it, no doubt, but I will miss his playful smirk and gorgeous teeth. Sigh. Au Revoir, hermosura de mi vida.

Speaking of beautiful people, ANTM cycle 13 is full of them in a whole new pint-sized package. Not one single model is over 5'7 this time around. I suppose it was imperative that Tyra force us to become interested again. We all know that the show never produces any super models, though it does produce working models (who can be caught from time to time on the runways, from New York to Boise). It's not the show itself, however, that I'd like to speak about. If anyone else caught last nights show, you may have noticed Tyra acting...well, crazy. Tyra? Crazy? How? Yes, Tyra has managed to out-crazy even herself. For some reason that will forever evade me, Tyra chooses to make a fool of herself on as many episodes as possible with every cycle that passes. I'm convinced she is done trying to trump Oprah and has moved onto trumping herself. On this fine episode, she appears as a sheepish, meek woman partaking in a photo shoot with a Napoleonic photographer. When she can't takes no mo', she strips down to reveal a cape and becomes (wait for it...wait for it...)...SUPER SMIZE!!! Yes! She can crush the runway with a single stomp, and phase away her opponent's with a single smize! Just in case you're unsure, to "smize" is to smile with ones eyes. Oh Tyra. Tyra, Tyra, Tyra. I'd love to join your writing team. I too can be a yes man! My first contribution: Tyra Banks is NARCISILLA! She needs to shut it down. Shut it down!

"Why ain't you smizin', gurr?"

Band of Brothers: Just for dudes?

This one will be short...it's really more of a thought. I'm currently watching 'Band of Brothers,' the incredible HBO miniseries about Easy Company--a platoon of men battling World War II in Europe. This show was an instant favorite of mine and I never missed an episode while it was on, and watch it every time it's on cable. The writing is exactly as it should be--smart, harsh when it demands it, and subtle or tender when necessary. These are characters that anyone who's had the pleasure of experiencing this miniseries will never forget. But I can't help but wonder...is 'Band of Brothers' just for dudes? Traditionally, men seem to love war. Not necessarily the real thing (not all the time, anyway), but movies or other forms of entertainment dealing with the theme. I myself have always had a deep interest in World War II history, so much so that I've visited three concentration camps and have taken the 8-hour walking tour of Berlin. But is this something women can get into? There's no doubt the piece is a work of art, but do they get it? Does the theme of fraternity cross no-man's-land over to estrogen territory? In contrast, there are incredible films that garner mostly a female (and gay) audience, for example, 'Pride & Prejudice.' It does fall neatly into the "chick-flick" milieu, but it is one of the greatest films I've ever seen (the Joe Wright version). Do men understand it's greatness? Not so sure about that. Anyway...I was just wondering. Ladies: does 'Band of Brothers' make you weep like a child as it does us men?

Seriously, GLEE is UGLY BETTY with singing.

Over the past couple of weeks I've been trying to understand and accept the craze over FOX's newest show, GLEE--a show centered around a high school show choir. Now I was a member of a show choir in high school and those were some of the greatest moments of my high school career. Most of my show choir friends are embracing the show with open jazz hands...but I just can't muster up the same enthusiasm. Like most shows today, they are trying to appeal to too many markets. They want to please the gays because they know a gay fanbase is incredibly loyal, so they added gay characters that resemble people I've never met in my entire life as a butt-plugger. Then of course there's the black girl who can 'Sang.' It's episode three and they've already referred to her as Effie White (of 'Dreamgirls' fame). She finally got a full solo, and it dealt with vandalism brought on by her broken-heart. Mind you, her heart was broken by her gay friend who doesn't love her. This gay character, again, is so gay he shines brighter than Rudolph's puckered cherry. So, apparently the black girl is also gullible. Let me also mention that the only other gay character with screen-time was fired from his teaching position for lewd conduct with students. Classy as ever, FOX. There's a throw-away character in both the Asian girl, and a handicap young man in a wheelchair. They're there, of course, to fulfill the stock needs of the show--not mention to meet the "we're offensively edgy" quota of jokes the show tends to favor. The show does, however, focus on the choir coach, a handsome white man, and two high school students, also good-looking and white. They did throw us ethnic folk a bone by making them brunettes, however, so let me give credit where credit is supposedly due. After perusing Google, I found that the female character is actually of Spanish-Italian descent. Not a lick of Caucasian. You'd never know the way she's portrayed in the show. I guess a Latina would've tipped the scales a bit too much. The buttercream frosting on top is the fact that several of the songs in their repertoire range from hip-hop to R&B. Quite a wide-range, I know. What bugs me about this is, who gets to cover these songs? The white characters. Call me crazy, but it's this millennia's minstrel show. I'm not saying that one ethnic group owns any particular kind of music...it's all in the execution. Seriously, all they're missing is black face. They did manage to sing the karaoke-anthem, "Don't Stop Believin," by none other than Journey, which I'm sure just puts the cherry on top for suburban middle-agers recounting their heyday in the 80's. All in all, everyone can in fact sing. Some are stronger than others, and stock or not the characters are fun but embody the depth of a koi pond. My hope is that the show stops trying so hard. The material is there, so why on earth muck it up? With 'Glee,' you have every high school stereotype smothered in hip gravy. It's 'High School Musical' for psuedo-edgy people. It's so broad it doesn't need shoulder pads--but it wears them anyway. White suburban kids singing R&B songs just isn't cool. Doesn't anyone understand that? Justin Timberlake was an accident.

Almodovar makes me wet.

Seriously. The man knows his way around my twat. After thoroughly enjoying (but not loving) Los Abrazos Rotos, his newest film, Dong Wook and I broke out some of his more recent masterpieces. Though La Mala Educacion is indeed a masterpiece, it's definitely darker than I like my Pedrito to be. I prefer him at his joyfully campiest, such as my all-time favorite Todo Sobre mi Madre. La Agrado, Manuela, and me...Huma Rojo--does it get any better than trannies and pregnant nuns? Dong Wook enjoyed Hable con Ella the most, which I was happy to see. I've never seen a more masterful work where two of the protagonists are in comas. You'll laugh, you'll cry, blah, blah, blah. I want to introduce him to some of Almodovar's older work so that he can understand the trajectory of his work. For now, however, we're going to try and find Volver on DVD. It's around here somewhere. To round things up I just want to comment on Penelope Cruz's sudden hottness. I never thought she was more than merely attractive before Volver. And go figure, it wasn't a fluke! Vicky Christina Barcelona, Los Abrazos Rotos--HOT!!! She has officially topped my 'Chicks I'd Do' list...and as anyone who knows me would know--that list is incredibly short (Scarlett Johansson, and Natalie Portman).

When the snow falls, I fly...

Get me the heck out of Korea when winter hits. It gets colder than a meat locker, without the wonderful smell of carcass. This year is a bit different than others, in regards to vacation time, thanks to our good friend swine flu. A well known fact in Korea to most foreign teachers is that we're not to leave the country unless we complete a 7-day quarantine upon return to Korea. Now, this may seem odd or inconvenient--and it is. However, it does serve a purpose and in a way lengthens our vacation by 7-days, which is fantastic. We are, after all, public servants and spend most of our time around children. Because of this we must take precautions to try and ensure not only our own health but the health of the more susceptible children. Though some of us may understand the reasoning it is a bit of a wrench in the proverbial gears. In the good old days we were able to travel during the Chuseok (Thanksgiving) holiday. This year, we may not because there's not enough time for quarantine. So we must be patient and travel to far off lands in the winter. I'm cheating a bit and Dong Wook and I have planned a trip to Busan for the first weekend of October. We'll be attending Asia's foremost film festival, the Pusan International Film Festival. We didn't manage to snag a fancy-schmancy hotel as we wanted, but we did manage lodging and train tickets at a modest price. This will tide us over (or so is our hope) until good ol' winter rolls around (how I dread you bitter cold). Keeping things bright and happy, I was welcomed with the news that my vacation runs from Christmas day to January 31st. Quite a sizeable vacation...but where to go? The choices are seemingly endless. I mean, I can afford for my boyfriend and I to go virtually anywhere. The only trouble is we don't want to spend our entire nest egg on yet another trip. Also, if we choose a less expensive area of the world (ie. South-East Asia) we can presumably stay longer and still save money. On the other hand, who wants to spend 2-weeks fearing tranny pick-pocketing and tummy-typhoon when we could spend a week getting our nails filed and culture polished in Europe? So, I may be jumping the gun a bit, but I'm a planner--what can I say? So far the list reads as such: Oahu, Osaka, Cambodia, Paris, Barcelona, Malaysia, and the Philippines. What to do, what to do? Sun and beaches on the cheap, or pretty cold in some of the most beautiful cities on earth? Grrr and harumph...

Good News

AOL news has to be the worst thing ever. It's terrible. But a few times a week they'll toss some tender morsels my way. Such as these: I loved her skanny, I loved her chonky, and now I love her for making a comeback: http://tinyurl.com/km8jkz --Phylicia Rashad, get it gurl!!! And ladies, even if yo man cheats...never, I repeat, never make him do this. It's reflects more poorly upon you than it would him: http://tinyurl.com/n5jrgh --White people are funny. Let me mimic what others have already harped on about: Heidi Montag? Seriously? Why do I even know this persons name? Anyway, here's Anderson Cooper tearing her a new one: http://tinyurl.com/nzb3z2 --Again, white people are funny.

The Trip: Destination

I'm a lazy blogger, blah, blah, blah. Taking into account how busy my vacation was, this blog has been abandoned for three weeks now. Our trip to California was nothing short of glorious. Though we did not eat all of the foods we would have wanted, or seen all the things we would like to have seen, it was an action-packed, non-stop, thigh-muscle spasm inducing thrill ride! I won't go on and on about every detail, because frankly it's boring. Touching upon a few points of interest wouldn't hurt, though.

Seeing my family is always a liberating experience. I feel so free to be myself and still, at my age, I feel completely protected. My family can kick your families ass all the way to Echo Parque, ese. There was minor drama, which I both expect and enjoy dipping into to remain relevant, but it brushed away as quickly as it came. My fiance was even given the chance to meet my grandfather, the last of my grandparents. The gathering was quiet but honest. Watching my parents, sisters, aunts, nieces--family--with my fiance was a thing to behold. There was no handling with kid gloves or stand-offedness on anyone's part. It was open. It was welcoming. It was comfort and acceptance at its deepest and most meaningful. This is why I love my family...and it's obvious they love us, too. Was it difficult to leave again? How do you say goodbye to Paris only to return to Detroit?

Missing my high school reunion proved to be a wise decision. After all, aren't reunions glorified pissing contests where no one cares how many children you have, or what the past ten years of education and/or life-experience have taught you; they want to know if you have ugly, stupid children that their kids will ultimately rule, and if you've been laid off from the graveyard shift at the Circle K while they enjoy careers selling homes to people who can't afford it...like you. Is this a bleak view of what should be considered a joyous occasion? Yes. But my bleak views are usually right. That being said, there are the few, the platoon, the ones who did in fact impact your formative years...your friends. Have you seen them? Have you kept in touch? Do you live mere miles away and only see them, by chance, across the intersection waiting for the light to turn green and hope that they glance in your direction so that you can feel caught up? Thank goodness for Facebook, right? Yes...when put to good use. This is what we did. Utilizing Facebook, and the sea of familiar faces out there in its cyber clutches, I managed to gather a group of twenty or so of the people with whom I shared up to seventeen years of memories with out of my young life for dinner. Three hours from one day out of over a decade. It began with one, my dear friend Arika--the pregnant at the time beauty who I hadn't seen in about nine years. Then came Brandon, Annique, and the list rolled on. Most people I hadn't seen since I was a morbidly obese teenager. As we sat at the dinner table that, much to the chagrin of the management, kept growing there was an energy of comfort and ease...and smiles. So many smiles. This is the polar opposite experience I would have expected from the frozen, perfectly plastic name-tagged version of a reunion which had been formerly produced by everyone's favorite beauty queens. Bodies floated, food was shared, no one kept still for too long because there were too many people we actually cared about that required face time. Three hours...this is what we allotted to ourselves. Reality states that it'd be impossible to maintain each and every one of these friendships on any level other than casual, given to account that there are children to be tended to, careers to sustain, and countless other "adult" requirements to fulfill--however, this handful of hours were ours to gloat, to share, and to remember why we'd ever become friends in the first place. It was magic. The best kind.

Visiting home this time would take on a new meaning. Since I was not coming alone, bringing the most important person in my life to the places where I grew up as a child and as a young adult, I made the conscious decision to view these relics of my past in a new light--in a way I hadn't viewed them in so long...as a tourist. We spent day after day scouring San Diego and all it had to offer, from Balboa Park to Pacific Beach. If we didn't have the time to do at least we saw. We did manage to take a day aside for a gay couples outing with two of my favorite women, Juliet and Becky. They treated us to a day at the world famous San Diego Zoo--one of my favorite places on earth. The animals flocked towards us all day, for some odd reason. Maybe they knew I loved them. Who knows. We were also introduced to the new baby in their life--their home. One dreams of owning such beauty. Lord knows I do. But not just yet. I introduced my fiance to as many corners of my former world as possible. Was this for his enjoyment, his enrichment? Was this my way of absolving myself from my past by turning those dark corners into bright new ones by seeing them not as I once did but now through his new eyes? Or, was this tour of my city a way for him to understand me better? Understand why I am the way I am. All of the above, albeit some more conscious than others (until now). Watching him react to the most inane of things dragged me out of my jaded cocoon and peeled the calloused layer off my eyes and allowed me to enjoy San Diego in a whole new way. I was happy that he was happy. Mostly, my happiness relies upon his own, and of this I am not ashamed but honored. San Diego is a beautiful city.

Though San Diego is my cradle of life and contains my strongest connection to the west, my family, Los Angeles peaked my interest most. I hadn't seen LA as a tourist for over six years now, and within that span of time Los Angeles had gone in my mind from a wonderland of newness and possibility to a mecca of hurt. I'd experienced so much darkness there. So much light, but so, so much darkness. Seeing LA through Mickey Mouse sunglasses was exactly what I needed to finally exorcise me of my past. We stayed with my ever reliable and beloved friend Tina, who was along with us for the ride as we visited popular tourist sites that she as a resident doesn't even patronize. We were also lucky enough to spend an evening with Chris, one of the few people in my life who was pivotal in my acceptance of who I am. We shared tapas in Santa Monica and then a walk on the pier at night. My fiance had only seen it in films before. Isn't it exhilarating to make a memory somewhere you'd formerly only known on celluloid? After visiting the likes of the La Brea Tar pits (incredible), an exhibit on contemporary Korean artists at the LACMA (awe-inspiring), the farmers market, the Prada flagship store, and viewing two superb films in the city that funded them (500 Days of Summer, and District 9) we were ready to leave LA for our final major destination of the trip: Disneyland.

Where do I want to get married? Disneyland. Lay the judgment on me like coats at a party, but that will not sway me. Where else does magic and fun revert even the coldest of people to their childhood (except maybe Disney World)? I am a grown man, still growing, and welcome each year openly. Yes, I be one of the few who actually enjoys the wonder that is aging. Yet I am infused with new life with the youthful, innocent, whimsical fare that animation have to offer. I love Disney. I love cartoons. I love toys and playing with them. Disneyland is one huge playground for literally people of every age. In this place my fiance and I walked hand in hand and surprisingly were never looked upon with a sour glance, or treated with ill-will. In this place, the populous are hopped-up on sugar, on adrenalin--high on memories and flashbacks of innocent times when ticket prices were reasonable and the Hall of Presidents was still 'whites only.' Store attendants gave us pins to commemorate our anniversary, and our day was thus filled with well-wishes from Disney staff and strangers alike. A woman, busy tending to her child in his stroller, offered to take our picture for us in front of the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad as she held onto the stroller with her leg. Where does this happen? In this place we felt like two children, able to do anything our tiny hearts desired. I watched my fiance playing with Lego's aside a group of children. Quietly, I watched them, sorting through pieces--wondering what they would build, what they could build. The gears in their brains were visible and they silently toiled around this bucket of plastic pieces. This is how I know I love him. I watched him as the fireworks display distorted the sky in smoke and light. His mouth spread open in awe and surprise. He'd never seen such a thing. Imagine never having seen an intricate fireworks display until your adulthood? I imagine it must be like discovering plutonium. I watched him react, physically and vocally, to the Fantasmic show of mist and fire. He marveled at it almost as excitedly as the chubby girl in front of us in the High School Musical Cheerleading uniform. Unashamed. This is why I love him. Our hearts are one and the same: adults quietly building upon our youth, but not silencing it. This is why I love Disneyland.

One last day in San Diego provided us with the time to absorb as much family affection as we possibly could, not to mention my mothers cooking. We spent most of the afternoon in the swimming pool with my father, my niece, and my aunt and uncle. We don't get to do that very often. As the day winded down, we finished packing and made sure that all was in order. The only thing left unattended were our feelings; we didn't want to leave, but ultimately we had to.

Thank God for airplanes (and the Wright brothers).

Recycled Air

Airplanes are about as sterile as a bottom at an Eastern European orgy. Listening to people cough up small babies, burp, and attempt the occasional fart does the opposite of make me comfortable in this small, enclosed space that we'll share for countless hours. Most of the time, I'd rather make out with a stranger infected with mono. Mono happens to be one hell of a diet. However, the idea of hitting the stratosphere in a metal contraption is pretty cool isn't it? If I'm not too busy falling asleep, praying against my death, or gently grazing the body of the possibly hot person next to me, I ponder the wonder of cracking through the sound barrier and essentially traveling back in time (when traveling from Korea to California). I wish it was as glorious as it sounds, but it isn't. Losing a day on the way back is as equally annoying as the recycled air in the cabin, but I digress. And funk what ya mama told you, airplane food is bomb. You get a roll AND dessert. That's bread times two. It's about time to go now, and soon my beloved and I will be landing in San Dieger. My family will meet us at the airport and either, a) cry b) be overly affectionate or c) ask us if we're hungry. I think we all know the answer to that question. Let the feeding frenzy begin.

Lazy am I.

It's obvious to anyone who reads this blog (a number which is most-likely nearest to 1) that I am a lazy blogger.  Updating this blog is something easily done on a day to day basis, seeing as I spend countless hours fawning over Facebook while at work and home.  What's clear to me now is that I must refocus my words to this page, where I can keep a log of the things I say...because sometimes those passing comments are comical masterpieces!  Well, not so much, but I'd never know because I lose those comments with every status update I waste on Facebook.  And fuck Twitter, seriously.  A website dedicated to one-liners?  Blatant self-promotion that I have no interest partaking in.  Admittedly, my father did coax me into joining and a minute pang of guilt hits me every day that I don't log on to Twit him.  But I am comfortable with the idea that he utilizes it even less than I.  In other news, my boyfriend and I will be leaving to San Diego in two days to visit my family and friends.  We'll make a short pilgrimage to Los Angeles and Anaheim to defile Disneyland for a weekend.  As my prior two posts would suggest, food is the focus of the trip.  I'd love to be a romantic and say it's family, friends, or nostalgia that pulls at me like a hook to a fish--but I'm a simple, hungry person.  This is a food parade, and if someone dies along the way--it will not have been in vain.  Stay tuned.

Food, Food, and More Food: Los Angeles Edition

The time is growing painfully near when I can once again step upon the freeing yet claustrophobic confines of the vessel that will deliver my beloved and I to yet another travel destination. Ah, yes, Incheon International Airport--I can smell you now, with your plethora of 'dericious' meal options, and your fabled Smoothie King, which I can never seem to find. Only two days stand between us, and it is utter torture! Weeks ago I made a similar posting in regards to restaurants I hoped/planned/dreamed about patronizing once in my hometown of San Diego. Now it's time to brainstorm about my second 'hometown'...Los Angeles. A far larger city, boasting some of the best restaurants and chefs in the world, eating the way I fantasize about will be a daunting task to say the least...and one I may not be able to afford. So, in the spirit of being cheap, not a food-elitist, and having a strongly opinionated stomach--I'm going to name not the best eats in Los Angeles but those I wish to contribute to my escalating cholesterol score. (Again, I am limiting this list to 10 establishments, in no particular order): 10. Porto's Bakery http://www.portosbakery.com/home.htm Cuban food seems to be popular these days; with several people saying it rivals Mexican food. Well, I think those people are pretentious boobs with stale taste buds. But all that aside, Porto's Cuban bakery is the type of food that's worth the calories. Not because it's a culinary marvel, and not because the flavors in their dishes are complex and new. The secret to their success is this: fry everything. Fried food is amazing. I've even had a fried starfish (in China, not Porto's) and you'd swear it was chorizo. And speaking of chorizo, the chorizo pie is to die for, not to mention my personal favorite--the potato ball. It's a ball of mashed potatoes filled with spicy ground beef and deep-fried. Need I say more? Besides the fried favorites, which run you mere dollars apiece, are some of the most incredible sandwiches. Aside from serving everyday daily sandwiches (far better than what you'd find at your local Quizno's), they also tempt with more traditional choices. They include Pan con Bistec (Cuban steak sandwich), Pan con Lechon (roasted pork sandwich--also my favorite), and the popular Medianoche (midnight) sandwich, which basically has a bit of everything...much like one would construct for a midnight snack. Just in case you were wondering, because Lord knows I was, there is in fact a potato ball sandwich. 9. Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles http://www.roscoeschickenandwaffles.com/ If you're cringing at the sound of this combination, do not judge so quickly. I'm not sure there's been a better marriage since cookie and ice cream sandwiches (we'll get to that later). Roscoe's serves up some of the best soul food in Southern California, although admittedly I've had better in Compton but for reasons beyond my control it's far less attainable. A tad overpriced due to extreme popularity (on any given day you can be eating next to Snoop Dog), but the portions and flavor make up for that minor inconvenience. If you're a newbie, order a Carol C Special, which comes with a succulent fried chicken breast and delicious waffle. Simple, and it gets the point across. That's usually my meal of choice, but I of course add a side of greens, macaroni and cheese, and corn bread. If I'm really hungry, I'll also throw in a plate of scrambled eggs with cheese and onions. If you're a bit more adventurous, try the fried chicken omelet. Again, sounds wrong but couldn't be more right. My computer keys are currently covered in saliva. 8. Crustacean Beverly Hills http://www.anfamily.com/Restaurants/crustacean_beverlyhills/displaypages/homepage.html Food elitism is probably more annoying than people who argue about what constitutes punk rock, but that doesn't mean all fine dining must wear this scarlet letter. When I feel the splurge coming on and do want an incredible meal with the bill to match (and I'm in LA), no place comes close to Crustacean. Located at the border of Little Santa Monica and Beverly Hills, this French-Vietnamese fusion restaurant is hands down some of the best food I have ever had in my entire life. The prices range from affordable to "oh yea, I'm in Beverly Hills," but no matter what you order--it's going to be amazing. Walking in is an experience in itself, with an aquarium pathway that gives the illusion that one is walking on water. Once in the main dining room, the bamboo and wicker furnishings and fans feel as if you're dining in a swanky version of some Indiana Jones adventure. Much like the name suggests, the focus of the cuisine if seafood. My personal favorites are the Salmon Tartar, and Rice Ho-Fun Ravioli with pacific prawns, braised fennel, caramelized shallots and soy-sesame emulsion. The most famous dish, however, which is on the sides menu are the AN's Famous Garlic Noodles. When I expressed my orgasmic-reaction to the noodles to my waitress, she said people who work and live in the area forego the more gastronomical dishes on the menu for these noodles--often ordering them in bulk. I kid you not, there's crack in these noodles. 7. Eat Well http://www.boorah.com/restaurants/CA/west-hollywood/eat-well-west-hollywood/1EDC76BCB8.html I'll keep this one short buy sweet. This is the kind of restaurant you go to for a lot of food at a reasonable price. Los Angeles is teeming with cafes and diner-style eateries, all with their own gimmick and celebrity clientele to draw attention and patronage. Eat Well is on that short list of cafes that has opened and remained opened, despite LA's constant fickleness. The singular reason for which I frequented this cafe when I lived mere minutes from it off Sunset was what they call 'The Big Mess.' It's exactly what it sounds like--one big mess of food. Eggs, spicy sausage, potatoes, avocado, jalapenos, and whatever else they have on hand that day. Add a bit of ketchup, hot sauce, maybe a touch of sour cream and side of wheat toast and you've got an hours worth of spectacular goodness at your fingertips. The sad thing is, it doesn't really last an hour...despite the huge helping. 6. Sprinkles http://www.sprinkles.com/ Sprinkles is like the IKEA of cupcake bakeries. The cupcakes are moderately priced (for Beverly Hills), the value/flavor of the pastries are far above their price-point, and they happen to be incredibly stylish little confections. Rare is the day when a line of hungry customers isn't wrapping around the block. The shop is small, compact, and quite efficient. Boasting such flavors as Banana, Chai Latte, Peanut Butter Chip, Pumpkin, and Ginger Lemon, they must keep a daily schedule of flavors to keep track. Yes, you can actually schedule which days you visit. Try the Red Velvet cupcake. A description wouldn't do it justice. Let's just say it's probably what kissing Angelina Jolie must be like. Even better, they sell ready-packaged mixes to take home and bake if you can't stick to your cupcake schedule. Empty luggage prepared for this reason. 5. Diddy Riese http://www.diddyriese.com/home.php The busiest establishment on the list also happens to be the cheapest. Located in UCLA's Westwood Village, this is the spot everyone seems to stop into on their way from/to dinner. In fact, I have been there at various times of day and must always wait an average of 20 minutes to reach the register to deliver my painstakingly conceived order. This is the way it works: you choose two flavors of cookies (chocolate chip, snicker-doodle, white chocolate chip, oatmeal, candy, and quite a few more), and a flavor of ice cream (cookie dough, rocky road, mint chocolate chip, strawberry, and so many more) and an ice cream sandwich is constructed for you in mere seconds for the price of $1.50. Now the first time I visited it was only a dollar, but the 50-cent increase is not a bother. The cookies are delicious, the ice cream is Dreyer's, and you can order cookies at 35 cents a piece for an after sandwich digestif. It's a cheapskates dream come true...hence mine. 4. Toi http://www.toirockinthaifood.com/sunset/index.html There are cheaper and more accessible Thai restaurants in LA. In fact, there are so many options in the Thai market that it's a wonder how they all remain open year after year. What Toi has is a gimmick, and that leaves a lasting memory. Memories equal loyal clientele. Toi is like the CBGB's of Thai food in LA. The menu is virtually the same you'll find anywhere else, but the portions are arguably larger. Larger portions are a happy-maker. The reason I return time and time again, besides the ultra-cool rock and concert poster-laden walls and dirty-rock decor, is the Tom Kha Kai. A rather popular dish with Thai enthusiasts, combining chicken, coconut milk, and lemon grass--this soup is so good you'll want to bathe in it. The bowl is big enough, to boot. I've had this soup at several restaurants, all around the world--and not one has touched Toi's masterful take on it. Go for the Thai, stay for the concert video on the widescreen tely. 3. Real Food Daily http://www.realfood.com/ Similar to the list I compiled for San Diego, I will again include a vegetarian restaurant to fulfill the ex-vegan in me. Not all vegetarian restaurants are created equal. With whole food, raw food, macrobiotic, and everything else there is out there these days (rampant in LA), it's never clear whether you'll be receiving an actual meal or the assumption of one. Real Food Daily offers an interesting and exceptional dining experience for both health food enthusiasts and those curious to see if the grass is truly greener in Gwyneth Paltrow's garden. With the basic starters such as salads, hummus, and spring rolls, one can also sample something a bit more daring such as the Lentil-Walnut Pate with tofu sour cream, carrots, celery, cucumber, and wheat-free rice sesame crackers. My personal favorite entree is the Total Reuben, made with tempeh, tofu cheese spread, sauerkraut, thousand island dressing, on sourdough rye bread. It's incredible how closely the flavor is matched to its meaty counterpart. For this reason, their meticulous focus to meat-flavored detail, RFD seldom fails to satisfy even the hungriest hunter. 2. Zankou Chicken http://www.zankouchicken.com/ In the chicken game, we Mexicans in the Southeast have El Pollo Loco. It's nothing more than flame-broiled chicken with Mexican spices, with pseudo-traditional sides to compliment the deliciously prepared chicken. In the Los Angeles and Orange County area, a taste of the Mediterranean can be found that easily knocks El Pollo Loco onto its chooky knees. Proudly established in Lebanon, this rotisserie chicken has to be the most succulent, juicy, and masterfully seasoned chicken one could ever find in a fast food setting. With low prices to tempt passersby, once the chicken has been taste-tested you'll never go anywhere else. Sides usually include hummus, pita, and a garlic butter that is worth the acne. What's most inviting about this food is that it's pure Mediterranean cuisine, without the corporate flavor of the Greek chain restaurants. With falafel, shish kebab, and shewarma also on the menu, one can return time and time again without ever losing interest. Zankou Chicken, I love you. 1. Jinky's Cafe http://www.jinkys.com/ I have indeed saved the best for last. Jinky's Cafe is on that ever growing list of restaurants catering to the breakfast-starved, who want their eggs and bacon all day long. Bare in mind that this is a giant leap above the throwaway diners located anywhere and everywhere. Eggs, breakfast meat, and assorted griddle favorites are easily made and easily liked almost anywhere one may find them. What sets Jinky's apart is their ambitious and often genius menu. For example, six different types of Eggs Benedict? Really? Lox Benedict, Hash Eggs Benedict, Crab Cake Benedict...the list continues. Being an Eggs Benedict fiend myself, I have sampled each and every one on several occasions and each is a wonder in its own way. There are also over twenty ways to order your egg-meal, from a simple choice of eggs/choice of meat option, to an array of omelets--some that include spicy 'Voodoo sausage.' What keeps me coming back is their, drum roll please, pancakes. Yes, I am a fatty and I love a flat, fried slice of dough covered in preserves and/or maple syrup. Now, when that list includes Pumpkin, Chocolate Chip, Tropical, and Banana-Macadamia Nut pancakes it's needless to say you're going to leave happy. I patiently look-forward to departing from their Sherman Oaks location in about a week, with a face-on much like a fat child at a Costco-catered birthday party. To my friends in Los Angeles, if you'd like to partake in any of these binge-fests, please do not hesitate to contact me. And my fellow San Diegans, the same goes for you. Check out my previous blog and let's get our eat on. My pants have been feeling far too loose as of late.

Food, Food, and More Food

Despite the fact that I recently spent nine glorious days in Hawaii with my parents and fiancé, I can't begin to express my glee in having secured moderately priced tickets to venture to my home-city of San Diego. I suppose my biggest joy in the matter is that this time around there's the added bonus of introducing my betrothed to the place which I once called home for twenty-three years. Family introductions will be made, same with friends and attractions will be patronized--but call me fat, hungry, or simply gastronomically challenged...but what I look forward to most is the food. Here's a list of ten establishments that I can't wait for us to gain weight at. (In no particular order) 10. Rancho's Natural Foods http://www.ranchosnaturalfoods.com/ For a matter of years, I joined that small and ever-so judgmental group of people who call themselves 'vegans.' Apparently anything that doesn't include making a Parakeet a deity is a violation of some animal right. Granted, some vegans do great work and should be applauded. However, I'd say they who've made the greatest strides are those that have made vegan food not only edible, but enjoyable. Rancho's has achieved that by making, what I consider, San Diego's best vegetarian option is dining. Virtually any Mexican dish you can imagine is available for either veggies or vegans, and the flavor and authenticity does not take a back seat. If you want delicious, healthy, Mexican food with a twist--Rancho's is your haven. 9. In-n-Out http://www.in-n-out.com/ I don't care if it's a chain. It happens to be a chain not available in Korea, or most of the United States for that matter. For me, these are hands-down the best burgers and fries (on a budget) in San Diego. Not too big, not too greasy, and the fries taste like crispy, salted rain from potato-heaven. I'll take a double-double, fries (animal style), and grilled cheese on the side. Dear God... 8. Carnitas Uruapan http://tinyurl.com/mdcejq Though my Abuelo happens to make the best carnitas (braised or roasted pork pieces) ever created, this restaurant (unfortunately in the middle of nowhere) has some kick ass carnitas. Every time I visit this restaurant I usually gorge myself to the point of gastritis. Such delicious pain. It’s always packed full of people, usually huge families, and the vibe reflects it. People always say, “Terrible service, great food.” In Uruapan’s case it’s great service, scrumptious food. 7. Zorba's Greek Buffet http://www.zorbasgreekbuffet.com/ When I visited the Greek island of Corfu I managed to gain 5 lbs in five days. How did I do it? On the "Eat As Much Delicious Greek Food As You Possibly Can Diet." Can't make it all the way out to Greece? You're in luck! If you're in the San Diego area, take a short trip down to Broadway in Chula Vista and partake in the incredible feast at Zorba's. It can borderline on My Big Fat Greek Wedding schmaltz, but you quickly look beyond that. I promise you--they will have to ask you to vacate your table. 6. Hash House A-Go-Go http://www.hashhouseagogo.com/ I love when the plate is so big you could bathe in it upon completing your meal. This is why I love Hash House. Yet not only are their portions ridiculously overstated, this brand of comfort food makes you forget about dieting and remember why American's are fat to begin with. Breakfast at Hash House resembles a fancy truck stop, where the food looks messy but tastes like what you'd want to eat before hitting the electric chair. Adding a sprig of fresh Rosemary, and a big, buttery biscuit to the meal elevates it to orgasmic proportions. Lunch and dinner are also meals to revel in...But I put my money on the morning hash. It gets quite busy, though waiting in line has never been more rewarding. 5. Yokozuna's Bar & Islander Grill http://www.yokozsd.com/ My family may be Mexican, and we may eat every single part of the cow, goat, chicken, or (insert bloody animal here)--but we love us some sushi. We roll into sushi joints and clean the place out, like a family of bears when the salmon never stood a chance. And I'm not talking rolls, like most poseurs order. Slabs of fish are what our hearts desire. Making the visit to Yokoz that much sweeter is the islander flare, and Polynesian options. From Hawaiian to Guamanian--their menu is eclectic and in a very tasty way. Try the Stuffed Tomatoes. The absence of tomato will be a pleasant surprise. 4. Jyoti Bihanga http://www.jyotibihanga.com/index.htm Serving you a healthy slice of crazy, from Spiritual Master Sri Chinmoy himself. This small and humble restaurant is run by a group (cult) of Yogi's, in the hopes of promoting peace, bliss, and health through culinary creativity (and poorly-worded pamphlets). This was a major treat in my vegan days, and upon patronizing it further as a full-blown carnivore I came to find that the food was indeed delectable if not ambitious. There best seller is the ‘Neatloaf,’ Meatloaf's far-less barbaric cousin. It's made of rice, and beans, and other such grains--and tastes incredible. The visit alone is worth your time. Viewing yogi's in their natural habitat is not a daily occurrence. Bring a camera. 3. Filippi's Pizza Grotto http://www.realcheesepizza.com/ The URL says it all: real cheese pizza. I've had other selections on their menu, such as the lasagna, and eggplant parmigiana (oddly enough, better than the one I had sitting in front of the Coliseum in Rome)--but their pizza is what puts them on the map. The crust is crunchy yet doughy. The sauce isn't too heavy, and not sweet like the bottled variety. And the cheese...oh...the cheese. You need a separate plate just to catch the extra cheese. Very much a family restaurant, with a good old-fashioned mobster feel--and make sure not to leave without having a cannoli. You’ll kick yourself in the calzone. 2. Extraordinary Desserts http://www.extraordinarydesserts.com/index.htm Without a doubt the most innovative dessert restaurant I have ever encountered. I worked there, once upon a time, in the days where I was heavier and quite the kleptomaniac. Needless to say, there were always cakes and other treats around the house because of me. Karen Krasne, the mastermind behind this patisserie, brings inspiration from her favorite destinations: Morocco, Bali, Thailand, Hawaii, and Paris--and creates works of art that are debatably more greatly enjoyed in your mouth than before your eyes. And with a newer, larger space opened in 2004, she brings new temptations such as imported cheese plates, wines, panini's, salads, and the most incredible gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches I've ever had. This is worth being fat for. 1. Tacos El Gordo http://tinyurl.com/mrxtyr Give me tacos, and loads of them. I want back, neck, tongue, tail, intestines, and brains. These greasy little things are the perfect way to satisfy a hunger like mine; having been denied real Carne Asada here in the glorious land of Galbi. I'll order buckets of them and I won't share. This is the ultimate guilty pleasure, and one hell of a way to burst an artery. Make me (more) ‘gordo’…gladly. Next up: my list of Los Angeles eateries I can't wait to plow into.